while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize