I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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