I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
