He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
how does that bad decision feel?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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