ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
