Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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