Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
