yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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