There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
