What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize