I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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