theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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