Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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