so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
