the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
