Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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