Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
