Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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