Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize