Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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