We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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