Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize