i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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