none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
