guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I have post one night stand depression
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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