so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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