Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
