i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
