This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
