Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
should my penis look like a turkey
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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