my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I wish you could order shots online.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
