Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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