why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
