D3 body, D1 cock
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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