he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
