As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
