Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
