The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
