Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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