so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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