Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you traded sex for a burrito?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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