Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
