Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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