i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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