Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
