Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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