I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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