Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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