your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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