it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
