omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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