Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
