I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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