she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
