What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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