so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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