Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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