OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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