White coat. Heels.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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