your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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