shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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