i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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