Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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